Southern California Gardener’s Hymn

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all

But what we never mention though gardener’s know it’s true
Is when He made beneficials, he made the bad bugs too

All things spray and swattable
Disasters great and small.
Water scarce; soil horrible,
The Lord God made them all

Rose slugs under rose leaves, cause battles waged and lost,
And tropicals are melted by late un-fore-seen frost.

All things spray and swattable…(etc.)

The fungus on our palm trees, the mildew on our beans,
The slugs that eat our lettuces, and chew our aubergines.

All things spray and swattable…(etc.)

Gall mite blasts our fuchsias, while thrips are twisting buds,
The snails that eat the clivias, the wilt that hits our spuds.

All things spray and swattable…(etc.)

The ticks and the mosquitoes, the gophers and the weeds,
The ‘coons that steal ripe apples, the birds that snatch our seeds!

All this spray and swattable…(etc.)

Late blight on tomatoes, geraniums with rust,
Shake the faith of organic gardeners in the principles they trust!

All things spray and swattable…(etc.)

Extra verse (optional):
Cutworms flatten zinnias; webs red-spider weaves
Whiteflies on hibiscus, and weevils notching leaves,

But still we gardeners carry on, tending vegetables and flowers
And pray what hits our neighbors will somehow by-pass ours!
All things spray and swattable…etc.